I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
