I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
