Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
