susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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