dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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