Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
