i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
