u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize