She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
