Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
