Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
