it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just invented taco cereal.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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