What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
