It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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