whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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