can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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