I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
