It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
