Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
