just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
