i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
