This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
