bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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