Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize