I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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