found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
