So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
