East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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