he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You are a genius and a whore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
