I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
