I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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