Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
