i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
