Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
