My room smells like vodka and shame
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
