awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
