Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
