he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
