i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
