I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
