also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize