Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
