I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
