So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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