At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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