Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh god it's open bar.
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