Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize