Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
