You're completely useless in the revolution.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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