the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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