i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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