just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize