she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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