So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
