dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize