My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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