We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's official drugs can't kill me
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
