So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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