just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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