Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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