I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drake has all the answers
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
