so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
