You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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