Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
