Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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