I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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