You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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