Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
