bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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