Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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