My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
