Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize