3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
